You might be able to tell from the title that I’m not really a New Year’s Resolutions kind of gal. But I do love a good set of goals. And for me to achieve those goals, I need to live with intention. Which is something I’ve been terrible at for essentially my whole life.
I’m the classic #hotmessmom who appears to actually have it together, but don’t be fooled. I don’t. I tend to be scattered, even when I have a To Do list. I still get things done but not very efficiently or intentionally. Which is stressful and overwhelming and distracting. (Think lots of projects started, lots of little messes, lots of getting distracted when I walk into any new room.)
This video sums up my hot mess perfectly:
I don’t like living this way. And yet I’ve never been able to figure out how to make any significant changes to this part of me. I like me, but the hot mess part of me needs to change. But how?
In Years Past
In the past, I went too far in the other direction. I tried too hard to be the opposite of myself. My thinking went something like this:
Okay! To be more organized and in control, I need to keep the house perfectly clean. Yes! I shall become one of those tidy people whose hobby is cleaning. Oh! And I shall make a new To Do list every morning. No! Every night before bed. And then I’ll get all the things done! And I’ll feel good about myself. Oh! I’ll also break my days down into time blocks so that I don’t get distracted. Breakfast, then Work, then Yoga, then Reading, then Writing. BOOM! Then I’ll be a better version of myself.
Sigh. I failed big time, every time. Which then brought on the self-pity and sadness and self-loathing. If only I were a stronger better person then I could actually make myself become a strong better person. Wait, what?
Obviously my thinking was flawed. But since I wasn’t sharing this thinking with anyone, no one was around to say, “Hey dummy! That makes no sense!” Which would have hurt my feelings a little, but would’ve saved me a lot of time and angst.
Why It’s Going to be Different This Year
Like I said, I like goals. In fact, I’m goal-oriented and competitive. As an over-achieving people pleaser, I really want to get things done. But how? With all of my hot mess?
Well, in October, I saw a friend’s post on Facebook about Lara Casey’s Powersheets. I was intrigued. (Thank you Brandie Pahl, my gorgeous and talented friend. Check out her clothing line, Little Lotti!) I did a little digging around on Lara Casey’s Facebook page. And I ran across this graphic:
Reading that then, even now, is like a cool breeze blowing away all of the guilt and perfectionism. I can change and grow right where I am. I don’t have to become a new person before I can change. I can start right now with who I am today. Not wait until I become who I hope to be.
The more I read and listened, the more the concept of Intention kept resurfacing. It’s embedded in the very word Cultivate. Cultivating doesn’t happen by accident. It’s purposeful and requires care and tending. I realized I could set goals and reach them this way if I viewed the work as cultivation not perfection. Or as Lara puts it:
Freedom! Sweet, glorious freedom. Just what I needed to hear. And still need to….daily.
So I hopped on and over to Cultivate What Matters and ordered the whole Powersheets bundle. Right now, we’re on a spending freeze while the hubby grows his new company, but I splurged. I did it for me, for our family, and for my business.
And that’s where I am today. I’m working on my Powersheets, and even though I’m behind in filling out the Action Plans for my Goals, I feel no guilt. I’m not failing at my goals to be more on top of things. Nope. I’m doing what I can where I am. Sure, I wanted to be all ready to go on January 1st, but again, as my new awesome BFF Lara says:
And thank goodness!